Mourning In America

"I've seen the future, brother. It is murder" -Leonard Cohen.

America has spoken. Or maybe it was 'merica. Donald Trump has been elected 45th President of the United States.

I woke up on the morning of Wednesday, November 9th with an intense feeling of anxiety and nausea, the way I usually feel when I have a hangover, only I hadn't been drinking the night before. I had stayed up until midnight to view the results of the election and things weren't looking pretty. Trump had been beating Hillary Clinton significantly in most states and things seemed to be at a stalemate. I popped in a DVD of The Walking Dead and when I finished it at 2 am, the results still hadn't changed. I went to bed depressed but optimistic. Surely, the American public would not elect a candidate who had never been endorsed by a major U.S. newspaper (but did recieve the endorsement of the official newspaper of the Ku Klux Klan). Clearly, they wouldn't select a man who had never received an endorsement from any of the five living former (and soon-to-be former) U.S. Presidents. Clearly, the American public would not entrust the highest political office in the land to a huckster, a buffoon, a vulgarian, a carny, a con artist with a bad haircut and contempt for everyone around him, especially the ones foolish enough to vote for him.

Maybe I wasn't cynical enough. Maybe I have too much faith in humanity or the voting public. Maybe I just see the good in everyone too much, because I thought we were better than that. I thought we were better than hate, racism, misogyny, homophobia, and rape culture. But I guess I was wrong, because when I turned on my TV first thing in the morning, the words "President-Elect Trump" flashed on my screen, making me angrier and sadder than I've been in a long time. Because I am legitimately frightened for the future of my country. Donald Fucking Trump is the new President. "President Trump". Ugh. That might be funny if it wasn't so scary. I will never refer to him as that. He is not my President.

My hatred of Trump has nothing to do with politics, either. There have been several conservative and Republican candidates whose views I have disagreed with, but I still respected them as human beings. The thought of someone like John McCain or Mitt Romney in the White House didn't fill me with anxiety and dread, in the same way that an unhinged lunatic like Trump does. (Although the idea of Caribou Barbie ascending to the throne should anything happen to poor McCain while in office certainly did.) Because this is not about politics. It's not about left or right, liberal or conservative. It's about simple human decency. As a former bullied child, I cannot support any man who says the kind of hateful crap that spews out of his overflowing toilet of a mouth and who has the maturity and temperament of a spoiled 13-year-old boy. This is a man who has displayed time after time a pathological need to humiliate and abuse others, as viewers of his loathesome TV series The Apprentice can attest. And like all bullies, Trump can dish it out, but he can't take it. He'll talk trash about anyone and everyone who displeases him, but has a hissy fit on Twitter if Alec Baldwin makes fun of him a few too many times on Saturday Night Live. If a silly sketch comedy show can get under his skin, how is he going to be able to handle threats from our nation's enemies? This is not the temperament of a man that we want in the White House with the nuclear access codes when Russia starts playing hardball.

By electing a man like Trump, we have to ask ourselves what kind of example we're setting for future generations. How can we expect our children to have compassion for those who are different from them when their President is a man who has mocked a physically handicapped reporter? How can we expect them to be honest and play by the rules when Trump brags about not paying his taxes for 20 years? How can we teach our sons to respect women and our daughters that they're worthy of respect if they follow the example of a man who calls women he finds unattractive "fat pigs" and brags about being able to grab them by their genitals?

To my religious friends and family members who voted for Trump solely on the "pro-life" platform, because they can't vote for a "baby-killer" like Hillary, let me ask this: How can you possibly consider it more of a mortal sin to elect a candidate who is pro-choice than casting your vote for a man who is facing trial for raping a 13-year-old girl? I'm also curious to find out what traits of Trump's you think Jesus Christ would approve of. His greed and obscene wealth? Your copy of the Bible must be missing that whole part about "Render unto Caesar" and the passage where Christ drives the money lenders out of his temple. Maybe his philandering and multiple affairs? That would seem to contradict those commandments against committing adultery and coveting your neighbors' wives. And it's hard to expect him to "turn the other cheek" when he routinely flies off the handle and reaches for his Twitter feed at the slightest hint of dissent or criticism of him. If Trump were any Biblical character, he'd be the innkeeper who tells Joseph and Mary to keep right on moving. Ain't gonna be no freeloaders staying at the Trump Tower, even if they are expecting the son of God to arrive any minute now.

To my gun enthusiast friends who voted for him because he says he'll protect their Second Amendment rights, let me ask: How do you feel about him violating the First Amendment? This is a man who has repeatedly threatened to punish and imprison those who criticize him. If you support the Constitution, then you have to support every bit of it, not just the amendments that you agree with. You'll still be allowed to keep your guns. In fact, you'll probably need them when President Trump starts World War Three and North Korea comes knocking at your door. You might also need to use your AK-47 to hunt squirrels and rabbits to survive on when your food stamps and Medicare get cut off. The lower middle-class voters who put Trump into office are going to be in for a big surprise when they learn that a billionaire who declared bankruptcy four times doesn't give two shits about their interests.

Some people I know and love voted for Trump. I'm not angry or upset with them so much as I'm just disappointed. Because they couldn't see past religion and politics to the man within. Because they're white, heterosexual, middle-class, cisgender, Christian American citizens and aren't really going to be affected much by Trump and his policies. Having a viciously anti-gay governor like Mike Pence as Vice President or an admitted white supremacist like Steve Bannon as a political advisor won't hurt them, because they're not the ones who are going to be suffering. Their votes weren't cast in hatred so much as in indifference and apathy. I doubt that any of them really harbor any particular hatred for minorities, immigrants, and LGBT people. It's just that they don't seem to care that much. People can change, though. Even my very conservative mother is disgusted by Trump and couldn't bring herself to vote for him, opting instead for a write-in vote for John McCain. It might not have helped very much, but at least she doesn't have President-Elect Bozo's victory on her conscience.

I don't know if I'll ever have kids. But if I do, I will teach them to be kind and selfless, to put others before themselves, to have compassion to those who are different, and to do everything they can to make the world a better place--which is the complete opposite of everything that Trump and his ilk stand for. All the wealth and power in the world can't buy human deceny or a soul. I began this post with a quote from one of my heroes and I'll end it with a quote from another one.

"God damn it, my babies. You've got to be kind" - Kurt Vonnegut